Three Days
April 13th, 2007On April 12, twenty six years ago, my family escaped Vietnam by boat. It took us three days to arrive somewhere in Thailand. Those three days have since seeded countless nightmares. It would be the beginning of our journey to America that would take us through refugee camps in Indonesia, Philippines, and Japan. The 3-year old me remembers only fragments.
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arms from a white boat
dark flesh in a silent film
sinking innocence
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sunlight pours on hairs
polite demands for our gold
father’s shorts are down
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they’re building fences
a dust cake for our departure
says my banana-leaf watch
June 6th, 2007 at 10:35 am
My mother and I sat in silence watching Journey from the fall yesterday. I sensed moments where tears started to form in the gaps in her eye socket. The Journey per say really didn’t reflect her own story but in many ways she related to it. I was afraid to talk to her while we watched the movie because my mother tends to channel pain through anger. I was scared that if I asked questions she would yell at me. So I watched in silence wondering what her story was and why she had never talked about it with me. When the movie ended she got up and said, “none of these people were boat people, this story would be better told by me and your brother. We are the real boat people. Kieu Chinh left by airplane and all these other people went after by plane too. They have no clue what it is to be a sea.” My mother and I have a long nasty history of arguing over the most insignificant things just for the sake of debate. On this issue though, I found it difficult to start. Slowly I said, “Someone needs to document your history, otherwise you are just another ‘Chinese’. You shouldn’t get angry that the people who represent you aren’t really those who share the same experience. You shouldn’t invalidate them just because you are different. I think you should appreciate this film mom, when are you really going to get around to making one of your own life anyway?” She thought for a moment and then said, “Doesn’t Kieu Chinh look good for a 70 something year old woman? When I was young she used to do movies with Americans. Do you know that she can speak English and French like you? That’s why she got to go on the airplane.” I laughed at her, “… you should have been an actress then!”
November 10th, 2007 at 1:28 am
^ Hong, you are right. Especially Nguyen Cao Ky Duyen. She’s the one trying to divert attention to other things (such as involvement with Vietnam), without consideration of the people’s experiences.
In any case, it is hard (though we try), for the second generation I’m a part of to completely relate to our parent’s experiences. Our generation is extremely loud-mouthed (I guess a ramification of Western eloquence?), compared to the previous generation. Our parents tell of their experiences every time the topic arises.
Americans and other veterans who have fought in the Vietnam War tell of their “horrific experiences”; indeed the experiences they’ve faced completely contrast their lavish lifestyles back in America, but really, the boat people were those who went out with an uncertain future.
The uncertain future bit is the one that some from my generation don’t seem to grasp, perhaps because their parents have fixated on “the new land”.